Not all who wander are lost

I have almost no direction right now. I am trying to trust in God and fate that my path becomes more clear as soon as possible. It is a strange feeling to think that you have at least figured out your "home continent" for the next two years only to have that security taken. I have no idea which side of the world I will be on in the next week! I know that I am going to be in the US at least until Tuesday, and I know that I have to have a "verdict" by May 15th. Other than that, I just spend my days thinking, walking, and eating.

I have been doing A LOT of these things, especially the thinking and eating. I have resolved that whichever path is cleared for me is the one that I am "meant" to be on. I am a content and somewhat stable person. I know that I can find purpose and happiness in the US, Kazakhstan, or any other country. It sucks that I would have to lose the contacts and projects that I started in Kazakhstan, but maybe that's just part of what needs to be in my life. I have thought a lot about what brought me here too. I have trouble needing to feel "in control" of things. Being a volunteer made me feel like I had no control about the course of my life, and no special skills or abilities. Fresh out of college, I missed the feeling of accomplishment after every test. You don't have that as a volunteer that doesn't know what she's doing. I guess I channeled that energy inappropriately and my health and stability paid the price.

As for the eating, America is amazing sometimes. You can find almost everything. I cannot, however, find yogurt covered peanuts. Raxat makes the best of these, and they don't sell them in America! I did find a Kazakh cafe though! I plan to go there this evening for a healthy serving of borscht.